Out-of-Town Visitor Successfully Parks in Rockport, Immediately Given Key to the Town

ROCKPORT, MA—In an unprecedented display of skill, patience, and sheer dumb luck, out-of-town visitor Brian Callahan, 42, successfully parallel parked his Subaru Outback in Rockport on a summer weekend, a feat so extraordinary that town officials had no choice but to award him the ceremonial Key to the Town on the spot.

Witnesses report that Callahan, who was visiting from Connecticut with his family, miraculously pulled into a prime parking space on Bearskin Neck at approximately 12:17 PM—peak tourist chaos—without circling the block 37 times or suffering a mental breakdown.

“We didn’t even see him waiting. One minute there was no spot, and the next minute, boom—he was parked. I don’t know how he did it,” said Rockport resident Nancy Ellsworth, shaking her head in disbelief. “It’s like the laws of physics didn’t apply to him.”

Local historians confirm that Callahan’s achievement marks the first successful parking attempt by a non-resident since 1998, when a man from Rhode Island backed into a parallel space on his first try and was promptly elected honorary selectman.

The Gods were smiling down upon Callahan on that fateful day.

A crowd quickly formed around Callahan’s vehicle, inspecting it for signs of divine intervention. “The car is perfectly centered, with just the right amount of space on either side—no excessive back-and-forth, no unnecessary tire squealing,” said Rockport parking enforcement officer Gary Prescott, who arrived on scene expecting to issue a ticket but instead fell to one knee in admiration. “I’ve never seen anything like it.”

Town officials, realizing the magnitude of what had just occurred, acted quickly to recognize the achievement. Within minutes, Rockport’s mayor arrived at the scene carrying the town’s ceremonial key—an oversized, gold-painted lobster claw—which was promptly bestowed upon Callahan.

“We don’t take parking victories lightly around here,” said Town Official Susan Eldridge in a formal speech outside Town Hall. “This is a town where tourists have been known to abandon their vehicles on someone’s lawn out of sheer desperation. Where parallel parking has ended marriages. Where, every summer, we lose at least three sedans to the depths of T-Wharf because someone just couldn’t take it anymore. And yet, Brian has emerged victorious. A true inspiration to us all.”

For his part, Callahan remained humble, saying he was “just lucky” and that he “probably won’t even need the key.” However, town officials clarified t

hat the honor comes with several privileges, including the right to park anywhere he wants, at any time, including in front of signs that explicitly say "NO PARKING ANY TIME."